


The Wizard's Trove

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Fellowship of the Ring, General, War of the Ring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 22:23:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3745634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the life of him, Legolas cannot understand his friends' love of smoking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wizard's Trove

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

" _Time wears on, and the mists are blowing away, or would if you strange folk did not wreathe yourselves in smoke." – Legolas to the others at Orthanc in The Two Towers._

_A/N: I'm going with Movie!Legolas here in terms of appearance, based on the fact that his father was blond._

* * *

Why these people felt such a need to do this strange thing, Legolas would never know. It was totally unheard-of among his people, and from what he knew, it could cause maladies of the lungs for those who indulged in it. This Pipeweed was foul stuff – it stained the hands and teeth, and the clothes of those who smoked it stank. When fresh it was quite pleasantly aromatic, but when it grew stale it was revolting.

That Aragorn was fond of it was to be expected, he supposed, with a frown that creased his cheeks. Had the Man not travelled far into distant lands and learned their languages and customs? For all that Elves were wise, Aragorn knew more than they did about Middle-earth and the people who lived there. But did he have to take up their habits as well as their knowledge?

Legolas moved a short distance from the Man, the Dwarf and the two Hobbits who sat on a pile of stones in front of the gateway of Orthanc, sharing food from a bag purloined from the Wizard Saruman. The smell of sweet, aromatic smoke from the pipes of his companions that drifted into his nostrils made them twitch with irritation. _Why must these people indulge in such habits?_

"Legolas," said Aragorn, passing his pipe over, "would you like to try some? It is very good."

"No, thank you," Legolas replied, with a wrinkle of his nose. "It is not a habit I wish to take up."

He shuffled a bit further away, and gazed up at the white fluffy clouds that drifted lazily through the cornflower-blue sky. If he could lose himself in the rhythms of nature for a while, he could forget how annoyed he was with the people he had come to care for. To his annoyance, the more he got to know them, the harder it was to overlook their faults. What he needed was to put some distance between himself and them, if only for a little while.

"Your loss," said Pippin.

The slight rustle of the Hobbit rummaging in the hempen bag on his lap continued for a while. Legolas sighed and cocked an eyebrow as he turned his gold-thatched head to see what the others were doing.

Pippin, knife in hand, hacked off a slice of bread and put it on the leaf he was using for a plate. A little delving brought forth a pat of butter which was followed by a generous slice of salted pork and another slice of bread. "I've just thought of something. If I butter this slice of bread and put it on top of the salted pork, I'll be able to lift it up in my hands without getting them greasy."

"Let me try one," said Merry. He ate his with relish. "Now what shall we call this new dish of ours?"

"Bread with meat in between," said Aragorn, with an amused expression.

"Yes," argued Pippin, "but food is not usually served in this way, is it?"

"Well..." said Aragorn. His words ground to a halt. He puffed on his pipe for a moment with his eyes averted from the Hobbits.

A grin stretched Legolas's lips. Aragorn without an answer? This was a novelty. He rolled over onto his side to observe his friends.

Merry turned to his kinsman with an air of authority. "Think about the implications for picnics and such. I think you're on to something, Pip."

Gimli snorted. "It's just bread with food in between."

"But think about it, Gimli," argued Pippin, his little face animated as he demonstrated his new discovery. "You put the meat in between the slices of bread like this, then you can wrap it up and carry it away with you to eat later. You don't need to bring a knife or anything – it's already prepared."

"Hmm," said Gimli. His bushy brows tipped down to his bulbous nose while he considered this. "I suppose if you're working a difficult seam and need to stop for a meal, it's handy to just unwrap your food and eat it as it is..."

"Without having to prepare it first!" finished Merry, with a vindicated gleam in his eye.

"Ah, but the bread would be more prone to going mouldy," argued Aragorn, with an upraised eyebrow. "This is fine for a day or two, but no longer than that."

"I still think it's a good idea," Pippin insisted.

"It is a good idea," added Merry. "And a very tasty one. I'd love to try this with some sauce, though. It's a bit dry."

"We could make one from tomatoes," suggested Pippin. He seemed quite taken with the idea, and turned his head in the direction of the storehouses by the tower. His furry feet twitched as if he was ready to leap up and get the tomatoes straight away.

"Or apples," added Merry, in a dreamy tone.

"I think they've got some here, and I saw some pots earlier," said Pippin, with a thoughtful look on his curl-framed face.

"All you Hobbits ever think about is food!" declared Aragorn. A wry grin played around his lips, and smoke came out in a little puff.

"And Pipeweed!" said Pippin.

Aragorn sighed and drew in a deep breath of Pipeweed smoke.

Gimli settled down and sucked on the stem of the pipe Pippin had given him.

Legolas suppressed a giggle.

"I say we call these 'Tweenbreads,' said Pippin.

"I don't think so, Pip," argued Merry. "That suggests that all you get to eat is whatever is between the breads. What about 'Covermeats?'"

"Ah," said Pippin, with an upraised finger, "but that suggests that only meat can go between the covers."

The others sat in silence, apart from Legolas, who turned again to lie on his back in the grass and soak up the sunlight. He had finally realised why he found them irksome and lovable in equal measure: they had ceased to feel the need to be constantly on their best behaviour because they were familiar with him. The corners of his mouth twitched in amusement. "You silly folk," he said, in avuncular tones, "when you are not sucking smoke into your lungs, you argue about what to call food!"

A sharp intake of breath from one of the Hobbits drew his attention. Legolas looked around and saw the affronted face of Pippin turn towards him.

"Excuse me, Master Elf," said the Hobbit, with a glint in his eye, "but you walk around in a daydream and speak of conversations with grass and trees. Now that is silly!"

"I what?" Legolas spluttered.

"Oh yes," added Gimli, "and you made a game of the slaughter of the Orcs that attacked us at Helm's Deep!"

"You played it too," argued Legolas. He sat up and faced the others, his bright eyes narrowed.

Aragorn laughed.

"This is not funny!" Legolas complained, looking to Aragorn for support. "They are insulting me!"

"Not really," said Aragorn. He put his hand on Legolas's shoulder in a conciliatory fashion. "They are reminding you that for any complaint you make about someone else, there is at least one to be made about you. It would be good to remember that."

Legolas sniffed disdainfully, but held his tongue. He considered Aragorn to be at his most annoying when he was right. He sat there for a while in silence, then decided that a change of subject was in order.

The Elf turned to the Hobbits. "What of the tale? How did all this come about?"

 

**The End**

 


End file.
